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Wine Gifts: Getting What you Want

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 11:04:00 -0600

When it comes to the holidays, there is a right and wrong way to get the presents you want. For instance, making a detailed list and giving it to family and friends is the right way, performing a lap dance for the local mall Santa is the wrong way, no matter how right it feels.

For wine lovers, getting what you want can be even trickier: with so much wine paraphernalia in your possession, you want to make sure you don’t receive something you already have. You certainly don’t want a wine opener when you already have ten. In fact, nine was plenty.

If you, like a lot of wine lovers, are hoping to be wined and dined this holiday season (in the form of gifts) then try asking for wine related items that you’ve only dreamed of having. Keep the following in mind, and on the top of your list:

Riedel Wineglasses: Some of you may be drinking out of regular wineglasses; others may consume your Pinot from a Dixie Cup (you know who you are). Whether you use glass, plastic or paper products, one thing is certain: crystal is much better. Riedel wineglasses allow you to experience wine in the way it was meant to be experienced. Developed with science in mind, these glasses make taste and aroma crystal clear.

Wine Clubs: Ah, a wine club, a place where Merlot can go to unwind after a hard day of work while Cabernet practices the newest dance moves. Okay, wine clubs might not actually be places where bottles stay open till two a.m., but they are still fun nonetheless. In all kinds of varieties, wine clubs bring Vino to you on a monthly basis. Most clubs send a bottle of red and a bottle of white every month for you to enjoy. They also offer tips on food pairings, wine tasting, and basic wine knowledge.

Wine Tasting Kits: This day and age, there is a kit for everything. This includes wine tasting. The complete package, wine tasting kits are a great way to get you and your friends involved in the world of tasting wine. Ideal for smaller groups, these kits are great at parties, dinners, or just regular old get togethers that could use a little kick. For anyone who is a wine novice, it’s a great way to find your (Hennessy) legs.

Wine Racks: If you’re tired of storing bottles of wine on top of your refrigerator (prior to storing them in your liver), a wine rack is a great gift request. Available in several sizes, these items are an easy and convenient way to keep wine in its proper place: your house. They also allow females to receive the greatest compliment known to the average connoisseur: wow, nice wine rack.

A Gift Certificate: If you are truly the wine lover who has everything, then there are probably only three things you could use more of: wine, wine, and, well, wine. Instead of requesting specific bottles from specific people, and risking that they decide to improvise and bring you a lifetime supply of Boone’s Farm, simply ask for a gift certificate to your favorite wine store. That is one gift we all know will never go to waste; it might just go to wasted.

Bottle Shock: When Your Wine is all Shook Up

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 16:13:00 -0600

Ah, bottle shock. Some people know it for its true definition; others imagine it’s what a bottle of red feels whenever a bottle of white is chosen instead. Whatever meaning you lean towards, one thing is certain: bottle shock isn’t a term with which many wines hope to be labeled.

In the scientific sense of the word, bottle shock, also called bottle sickness, is when wine adopts strange, disordered flavors. These strange flavors make the wine taste less fruity, make the presence of the alcohol more noticeable, and cause bottles of Cabernet to repeatedly call in sick for work.

Bottle shock is often a result of the wine bottle being – in James Bond fashion - shaken…not stirred. In a suitcase, through the mail, on an airplane, or in the trunk of the car, continuous vibrations can upset the elements of the wine, throwing the VINO into some sort of PTSD. A frequent change in temperature and variations of lighting – such as when a bottle boards a plane in Alaska and lands in Hawaii – may also play a role.

Its tendency to occur during times of vacationing lead many people to refer to bottle shock as what it truly is: travel shock.

Not all well traveled wines get bottle shock – some can sail the seven seas without the tiniest sense of unrest (or sea sickness) - but it’s possible for most wines to get it; fragile wines are particularly susceptible.

There is no true way to avoid bottle shock, other than to not allow any part of your wine cellar to accompany you on vacations. Going to great lengths to make sure your bottle of wine vibrates as little as possible may decrease the risk of it, but there are no guarantees: sometimes a bottle of wine will bust a move without you even knowing.

The bright side, however, is that bottle shock is a temporary condition: put down the antibiotics and quit giving your bottle of Riesling mouth to mouth, it will heal itself.

Whether you’ve shipped a bottle of Pinot Noir to yourself from Oregon or traveled to Napa Valley only to return with a car full of wine cases, the surest way to make sure bottle shock won’t ruin your inventory it to wait. Give your bottles a few months to get over their shock, then drink up your stock.

The Wines of Thanksgiving

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 14:38:00 -0500

Red wine, white wine, sparkling wine, cider: it’s the time of year to count our blessings. Yes, the holidays. As Thanksgiving rears its head, relatives are extended invitations, decorations are brought up from the basement, and turkeys everywhere join the witness protection program. We spend weeks planning what we’re going to eat and, more importantly, what we’re going to drink.

In a perfect wine world, you might be able to plan your Thanksgiving completely around your wine list. But, this holiday makes that hard. Plainly put, there are certain dishes that just have to make an appearance at the Thanksgiving table. No matter how hard we try, some things (ahem, cranberry sauce) wont’ go away.

This leads to one solution: we plan our wine menu around our Thanksgiving menu.

Now, as a general rule, wine should be paired with the strongest flavor of any given meal. But, once again, Thanksgiving makes that hard. Every family possesses their own customs. Some stick to turkey, some prefer ham, some throw in primed rib, and others, in the true tradition of the very first Thanksgiving, simply place a call to the local Pizza Hut.

For this reason, the rules of wine have to be fairly general and flexible, improving their chances at making the masses thankful.

Pour some sugar on you: The perfect way to kick off a Thanksgiving is with an Aperitif wine, a wine that is sweet and rich, such as Sherry. Not only does an Aperitif wine add a sense of festivity to the air, but it also helps to stimulate your appetite. With an Aperitif in hand, this may finally be the year you achieve your goal of eating your body weight in mashed potatoes.

Drink in the Beaujolais Nouveau: The holidays may be about all sorts of obvious things, such as a tree in the grand hotel, one in the park as well, but they are also about subtle things, such as a bottle of wine. Beaujolais Nouveau, a wine annually released from France on the third Thursday in November, is light, simple, festive and fun. Not meant for aging, this wine is to be consumed promptly. Seeing how it’s a favorite among wine lovers and those not yet sold on the goodness of the grape, that shouldn’t be a problem.

Stick with certain pairings: When it comes to wine, you should never be embarrassed to ask for help: some people simply know it more than others and taking their suggestions is a good way to get started towards a great finish. Having said that, here is a simple list of our pairings: Pinot Gris from Alsace, Chinon (a red wine made from Cabernet Franc), and a Rose of your choosing all go really well with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and vegetable dishes. Rose also goes particularly well with ham, also known as the turkey’s favorite dish.

Natalie MacLean, a Canadian writer and wine connoisseur, also suggests pairing turkey with Riesling and Pinot Grigio (for whites) and Pinot Noir, Beaujolais, and Zinfandel (for reds).

Depending on your individual preference, and what’s being served, you may have to do a little sampling to decide the one you like best. With a buffet of food set out in front of you, don’t be afraid to bring in a buffet of wine. Rotate, experiment, and have fun: Plymouth Rock and roll.

The Enemies of Wine: What Not to Eat When Drinking

Thu, 25 Oct 2007 12:44:00 -0500

Despite the dirty looks and obscene gestures I get whenever I drive by a field filled with cattle or stroll by the local chicken farm, I stand by the notion that red wine goes with red meat and white wine goes with white meat. Sorry Bessie, my apologies Chicken Little: it’s just a fact among humans. Please stop trying to get us back with Mad Cow and Bird Flu. Your revenge tactics are getting old.

Still, it’s not like you have to be a carnivore to enjoy wine: pasta, breads, and cheeses all certainly enhance a good glass of wine as much as any piece of meat. In fact, it might seem that wine – especially after consuming too much of itself – will go home with anything. Fish? Chili? Desserts? Even Hamburger Helper? Wine appears to have no limits.

It may appear that way, but there are definitely some ingredients that go with wine about as well as the saying, “No, no, no, I’d rather have beer.”

Gum: It might be mint, it might be grape, it might even be a foot of Bubble Tape. Whatever it is, it should be one thing: spit out. Any flavor of gum can alter the way wine tastes. Even if the gum has been in your mouth for hours, and thus lost its potency, it can still have a noticeable effect on your taste buds. For this reason, never sample wine while you are “with Chiclet” and don’t chew gum in the hours before a glass of wine. If you happen to be chewing gum, spit it out and cleanse your palate. This will help you taste the wine, and not the Hubba Bubba.

Toothpaste: Don’t ever brush your teeth or use mouth wash before you sample wine. Sure, nine out of ten dentists may disagree, but listen to me, not to them. Brushing your teeth or shooting some Scope will ruin the experience. Just as a dollop of toothpaste before a glass of orange juice will bring your taste buds to a bitter end, so will coupling Pepsodent with a Pinot. This isn’t to say that wine drinkers should never engage in oral hygiene, just engage in it around your wine list’s schedule.

Mints: Just like the toothpaste dilemma, eating mint before or during wine drinking negates the experience and alters the flavors. So, put down your peppermints, ignore your York Patties and say no to that mint ice cream sitting in your freezer: no matter how much it begs, you’re not to consume it. The flavors of mint can overpower even the strongest wine, leaving you with – quite literally – a bad taste in your mouth. Even something as minor as sucking on a Tic Tac can hurt the experience. Mint herbs and spearmint herbs, however, are fine to consume; thus, if sucking on leaves is your thing, you are certainly in luck.

Vinegar: In the world of wine, vinegar is a no-no. Whether adding it to foods or drinking it directly from the bottle, vinegar has no business being involved with wine. They are, plainly put, arch enemies. For this reason, vinegar should be omitted, even when it comes to salad. One of the best options around this is to use wine as the “vinegar” part of a salad dressing. For example, instead of using oil vinaigrette, compose a salad dressing using oil, wine, and whatever spices you want. This will keep your salad bar from interfering with your mini bar.

Not all foods or food ingredients go with all wines, but there is usually at least a few wines out there that will go with anything. The above, however, are exceptions. By avoiding them you can help keep your wine drinking experience from being compromised. Ditch the Colgate, keep the Cabernet.

Wine Club Helping Fight Against Breast Cancer

Thu, 27 Sep 2007 16:19:00 -0500

In the grand scheme of things, wine and breast cancer couldn't be more unalike. One is something that is meant to be savored and the other is, well, cancer, the "C-word." While they lay on opposite ends of life's spectrum, they've recently been pulled together in the form of a calendar. Developed by a wine club called SWILL (Several Wine Imbibers Liking Libations), this calendar benefits Living Beyond Breast Cancer, a nonprofit organization aimed at helping women affected to live their lives to the fullest.

Unfortunately, breast cancer has touched the lives of many of us. We can swear at it, yell at it, and tell it to go away, but it’s a mulish malignancy: statistically, one in eight women will have it in their lifetime. Though its prevalence is disheartening, the end of the proverbial tunnel, once blocked by rocks and boulders, is no longer dark: the strides made in medicine have given us light and given us hope. Today, the survival rate for breast cancer is more than 90 percent when accompanied by early detection.

With this early detection being key, women must be vigilant of symptoms. These include a lump in the breast (usually painless), bloody or clear nipple discharge, indentation of the nipple, change in breast size, and a change in the skin covering the breast (flattening, indenting, or pitting). Though these symptoms can be discovered by a self-breast exam, clinical exams and mammograms are also essential. This is particularly true for those at risk.

The risk factors for breast cancer are numerous, making its prevalence understandable. Plainly put, most women fall into at least a few risk factor categories. Among these are race (Caucasians are at a higher risk), age (risk increases with years), excessive use of alcohol, smoking, genetic predisposition (between five and ten percent of breast cancer is inherited), radiation exposure, excess weight, early onset of menstruation (particularly before age 12), menopause after age 55, never becoming pregnant or first pregnancy after age 30, taking hormone therapy or birth control pills, and having a family history of breast cancer.

As numerous the risk factors, the human race isn't the only thing in danger: thanks to all of those dedicated to fighting it, breast cancer is at risk itself. The support against it, monumental; the money to research it, enormous; the fight to stop it, encompassing . In fact, cancer's one decent quality is its keen ability to unite people. No matter the differences that lie between us, all human beings agree on one thing: cancer freaking sucks.

And so, until it is cured, the war wages on.

Some people have the means to offer up tons of ammunition for this battle. They are doctors, they are scientists, they are philanthropists. Others fight with smaller arsenals. But, when it comes to fighting cancer, no deed is small, no deed is unneeded.

Whatever kind of difference one hopes to make, tiny steps amount to larger ones. The Women of SWILL calendar is the perfect way to start or continue steps in the right direction. Purchasing a calendar helps take cancer out of the drivers seat: with profits going to Living Beyond Breast Cancer, it helps pull those diagnosed with and affected by breast cancer back onto the bandwagon of life.

Featuring twelve women draped in wraps, and photographed in the most scenic areas of Western New York, this 2008 calendar, with support from the Kinley Corporation, will be available prior to or on October 10th at www.swillparty.com for 19.99. Four-colored, spiral bound, and filled with beautiful women for a beautiful mission, its conception was derived in 2006 during a group outing for annual mammograms. When the group realized so many had known those or been those influenced by this disease, they put the Women of SWILL calendar on their schedule.

For anyone affected by this disease or those who just want to help, this calendar allows us to set a "date" with cancer, only to break its heart and leave it deserted on a city corner, knowing its unloved and unwanted.

With so many getting support from Living Beyond Breast Cancer, this gives us means to ease the fight and the plight. Buying a calendar is a simple and effective way to lend a helping hand.

Breast cancer affects our moms, our daughters, our aunts, our sisters, and makes two things certain: we're all in this together and we all need to do our part. Do something to help now because we all know that, when it comes down to it, cancer really is the biggest boob of all.

The Quotes of Wine

Mon, 17 Sep 2007 12:54:00 -0500

Wine quotes, like grapes themselves, tend to come in bunches. From those who’ve sipped a bottle of Riesling and claimed, “That’s the best wine I’ve ever had,” to those who, after a wild night, spend their morning assuring that they will “never drink again,” quotes are part of wine culture. The famous and not so famous alike have uttered them. But, not surprisingly, it’s only the famous that get theirs in print.

Now, reading a wine book and coming across a quote by some of these famous isn’t far fetched. An utterance by Mark Twain isn’t going to shock anyone: Twain made it well known that he enjoyed the pleasures of life. Similarly, a wine quote by Ernest Hemmingway is more likely to leave the reader saying, “Duh!,” rather than, “Huh?” But, not every wine quote is uttered by someone as obvious; sometimes the best wine quotes come from those you might not expect.

Thomas Jefferson: If there is a wine God, Jefferson’s resume will someday read: US President, Author of the Declaration of Independence, Founding Father, but, most importantly, wine drinker. The person whose Presidency led to the Lewis and Clark Expedition as well as the Louisiana Purchase also knew the importance of a bottle of Vino. He is quoted as saying, “Good wine is a necessity of life for me.”

One of the largest criticizers of the British government, Jefferson was also concerned with wine from a monetary aspect: tea wasn’t the only thing that perpetuated the “no taxation against representation” mantra. Wine was also on the mind as Jefferson stated, “I think it is a great error to consider a heavy tax on wines as a tax on luxury. On the contrary, it is a tax on the health of our citizens.”

Louis Pasteur: You might not typically think of Louis Pasteur as much of a wine drinker. But, a man who is known for some of the greatest scientific discoveries, Lou (he said we could call him that) wasn’t just a chemist, he was a French chemist. That’s right, enter the wine.

His contributions to science are nearly too many to list but include confirming the germ theory of disease, creating the first rabies vaccine, reducing the fatality of puerperal fever, discovering the asymmetry of crystals, and being one of the patriarchs of microbiology. For many, pasteurization was where he left his greatest mark. Through this process, he discovered how to stop milk and, oh yes, wine from going sour. In regards to the latter, Louis Pasteur is quoted as saying, “Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.”

Homer: Despite what people of recent generations may think, we aren’t quoting Homer Simpson. If we were, we’d probably provide a quote of, “Mmmm….wine,” or, perhaps, “Bor-DEAUX!” Instead, we are talking about Homer, the author (or the name given to the authors) of epic Greek poems, namely The Iliad and The Odyssey.

Regardless if Homer is but one man, one woman, or the name for a bit of both, the writings that came from “him” speak of wine, and, let’s face it, that speaks to us. In The Iliad, Homer writes, “Wine gives strength to weary men.” We wonder if this Homer would choose a Pinot Grigio over a Duff Beer. We are guessing yes.

John Milton: Like Homer, Milton was known for composing epic poems, most famously Paradise Lost. A piece not for those looking for a quick read, Paradise Lost features the fall of humankind as Adam and Eve were expelled from Paradise by the lure of Satan.

Well known as being one of the most important poets in literature, Milton was also an avid opponent of censorship. His Areopagitica speech, published amid the English Civil War, featured a fervent plea in favor of the freedom of speech. It wasn’t, however, only free speech that made him impassioned. He was also a fan of wine, once quoted as saying, “Wine, one sip of this will bathe the drooping spirits in delight beyond the bliss of dreams. Be wise and taste.”

Benjamin Franklin: Someone who did more for America than perhaps anybody else, Benjamin Franklin, frankly put, was a man of many talents. From Founding Father to author, from scientist to inventor, from diplomat to politician, Franklin is credited with helping establish the idea of America as an independent nation. Simply put, he may have invented the United States.

A man of immeasurable intelligence, Franklin knew a good thing when he saw it. From a wine lover’s standpoint, nothing attests to this notion more than his quote, “We hear of the conversion of water into wine at the marriage in Cana as of a miracle. But this conversion is, through the goodness of God, made every day before our eyes. Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards, and which incorporates itself with the grapes, to be changed into wine; a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy.”

Wine has touched the hearts and tongues of all kinds of people, those who enjoy it silently and those, like the abovementioned, who can’t help but say a mouthful.

The Songs of Wine

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 12:11:00 -0500

When it comes to wine, we use a variety of our senses. Our sense of taste and our sense of smell helps us perceive flavors and aromas, our sense of sight helps us look for legs, helping us to identify body, and our sense of touch, well, that just helps us to make sure we grab a glass of wine, and not a can of beer. In fact, there is only one sense we don’t really use: our sense of hearing.

Now, I’ve done it myself: I’ve had a few too many glasses of wine, put the glass up to my ear, and sworn up and down that I could hear the ocean. Except for those rare, okay frequent, instances, hearing, when it comes to wine, is a bit left out. That is, however, until it “auditions” for inclusion in the form of song.

The following is our list of some of the best wine songs to ever grape, er grace, us with their presence.

Alcohol (Brad Paisley): So, this song might not be just about wine. With lyrics that talk about all kinds of alcohol, the spotlight isn’t on a bottle of Shiraz doing a rather long, but oddly touching, interpretive dance. Still, any song that gives a shout out to Bordeaux, France is a must listen for the wine lover. Not too bad, Brad.

The Wino and I know (Jimmy Buffett): One of the best singers to listen to at any kind of party, Jimmy Buffett delivers a song that acknowledges the wine drinker in all of us. There is, however, one problem: the line “the wino and I,” for many of us, is redundant.

Red Red Wine (UB40): A song that has made many of us feel so fine, “Red Red Wine” is just a fun fun time. We might not know what the heck “Monkey pack him rizla pon the sweet dep line” means, but who cares: let’s just focus on memorizing the rest of the song’s rap section.

Bottle of Wine (Tom Paxton): An oldie, but a goodie, “Bottle of Wine” pays homage to the fruit of the vine. But, when Tom sings the “When you gonna let me get sober?” line, we can’t help but think he’s joking. Seriously Paxton, pour another drink.

Strawberry Wine (Deana Carter): Even though we are pretty sure the “Strawberry Wine” in this song is likely Boone's Farm, it’s still a good tune. It talks about first loves, summer nights, and remembering when 30 was old. As someone who turns 30 in a few months, allow me to state that 30 is the new 20, oh wait, the new 21.

Little Ole Wine Drinker Me (Dean Martin): We can only expect a great song from the man who was once quoted as saying, “You haven't drunk too much wine if you can still lie on the floor without holding on.” Very true Dean, very true.

Champagne Supernova (Oasis): I know that I may be one of the few people who actually love Oasis (call me Liam!), but this is a great song. Hopefully we will all someday find ourselves in a “Champagne Supernova,” or at least like a Champagne brunch.

Blood Red Wine (Rolling Stones): Wine’s greatest chance of ever truly rocking out, this song allows us to picture a Merlot with a Mohawk, a Pinot with a pierced nose, and a Traminer with a tattoo.

Two More Bottles of Wine (Martina McBride): A tune that teaches us that our lovers can move out and, as long as there is wine, everything will be okay, “Two More Bottles of Wine” would have been just a little bit better if it had replaced the word “bottles” with the word “cases.”

Wine, Women an’ Song (White Snake): As a female, I might not identify with this song as much as the male gender. After all, it talks zealously about landing a good woman. But, who cares: I can turn lesbian for one article and chalk it up to experimentation.

Vintage Wine: What’s it All About?

Thu, 06 Sep 2007 22:32:00 -0500

Vintage, when it comes to wine, has a unique definition: it isn’t merely an old, classic bottle or one wearing a Guns and Roses hat and Van Halen (pre Sammy Hagar) shirt. In wine, vintage is defined as being made from a particular harvest or a specific crop. A 1989 vintage Riesling, for example, is made up of grapes from - you guessed it - 1989.

Still, not every single grape used for the wine may be from the year denoted. Like a fruit with a fake ID, some grapes from other years may sneak in. How many, however, depends on the country.

In the wine regions of Chile and South America, at least three fourths of the wine must be from the vintage year in order to bear that year on the label. In Australia, New Zealand, Europe and the United States the rule sits at 85 percent. But, the United States has an exception for wine that is from an American Viticultural Area, such as Napa Valley, the Hamptons, and the Ohio River Valley. For wine from AVA designated regions, 95 percent of the grapes must be from the same year in order to be considered vintage.

On the opposite end of the vintage spectrum are the bottles full of grapes from at least two or more years. Wines that can never be sued for ageism, nonvintages are produced by winemakers who blend a variety of grapes, and create a style that is somewhat constant with each production.

While being deemed “vintage” can go somewhat to the wine’s head, as they are found being (Cabernet) Franc about their greatness, there is some dispute as to its importance. One of the sources of dispute come from the wine’s country, or rather climate, of origin.

Wines produced in colder climate, such as Canada, Washington, and Vermont, often place a higher value on vintage wines. This is because certain years may produce certain climates. A particularly warm year in Washington, for instance, will produce a different tasting wine that a particularly chilly year. When the weather dictates both the wine’s taste, and its quality, vintage come off the bench to plays a necessary role.

Conversely, in wine producing regions where the climate does not vary, a vintage bottle might not have a grape up on its nonvintage competition. Year after year, many of the wines may taste similar. Still, this isn’t always the (wine) case.

Some wine producers, in both cold and warm climates, label wines “vintage” only when they come from a superior and excellent crop. In these instances, the definition of vintage is more fittingly “the best of the best.” This route serves to preserve the reputation of the word itself; because the term “vintage” is often thought to be synonymous with being special, wine producers don’t want to put the label on just any ol’ bottle. If that happened, we might find boxes of wine selling themselves as such.

Vintage wines are sometimes wines meant to be drunk quickly, such as any vintage of Beaujolais nouveau, which is intended to be drank within a few months of purchase (this is typically rather easy for wine lovers to achieve). But, they are more commonly wines that are meant to age. In highly tannic varieties, wines that adhere to their age gracefully reputation, vintage becomes essential: the older the wine, the better it’ll taste.

When it comes down to it, vintage isn’t a clear cut thing: sometimes it’s important, and sometimes it’s not. It really depends on what type of wine the individual wine lover is seeking. Some people prefer vintage wines, some prefer nonvintage wines, and some people, such as myself, simply prefer them all.

Removing Red Wine Stains

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 16:43:00 -0500

There are few things that will send a clean freak into a nervous breakdown like a red wine stain: red, red wine, when it’s spilled on the table and running onto the carpet, doesn’t make you feel so fine. No matter what UB40 says.

But, luckily, there is hope. Take it from me, I’m an expert in stains.

Now, my self-proclaimed “expert status” isn’t because I spill a lot of red wine, if I feel like there’s going to be a spill, I’m not above using a sippy cup as intervention. Instead, my status is deserved because I have a dog with a penchant for confusing the living room with the outside lawn. On occasion I can catch her before she stains my carpet – her sniffing around or asking for a magazine (Dog Fancy) are sure signs that she’s about to leave a mark – but more often than not, she shows her love for me in piles…large, stinky piles.

Though red wine and dog accidents aren’t made up of the same ingredients, at least not until my dog starts spilling her wine, they both stain, and stain quickly. Yet, red wine may be the worst of the two evils. It seems to flock to white carpet like a moth to a flame.

Still, even the reddest of wines on the whitest of carpet isn’t the end of the world. There are ways to get rid of red wine stains…and you might not even have to move the furniture in a “cover up operation” to do so.

Act Quickly: Picture this- you’re hosting a dinner party and, out of the corner of your eye, you see a glass of wine begin to fall to its death. You yell “Noo-oooo,” and dive to save it, shoving your great grandmother out of the way in the process. No matter how quick you are, the wine is quicker and you suddenly realize it’s too late: you shrug your shoulders, refill the glass, and state that you’ll clean the stain up later.

As noble as your acts of intervention were, saving the stain for later is where you are making your mistake. Stains are most likely to be removed when they are fresh: the longer they sit, the stronger they become. Instead of waiting till the party is over, take a few minutes and get to the carpet before it drinks the wine in…and asks for another.

Resist the Rub: Whenever you see a stain, your first desire is probably to rub it, rub it out of the carpet and out of your soul. However, rubbing doesn’t get wine out of the carpet, it only spreads it around and forces it to seek solace within the deepest of carpet fibers.

Instead of rubbing, simply blot the stain with a dry paper towel or a dry rag. Using a wet paper towel or wet rag can help add to your troubles by giving wine the tools it needs to spread; watered down wine, whether in your glass or in your carpet, is the same thing: no good.

Use Specialized Cleaners: If you are what we call “a spiller,” you may be wise to invest in a few industrial strength stain removers. For red wine, Oxy Clean and Wine Away are two of the best on the market. They are simple, easy to use, and a red wine stain’s worst enemy: stains shake when they see these cleaners approach. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen.

If you don’t have any Oxy Clean or Wine Away on hand, try mixing liquid dish soap with a cup of Hydrogen Peroxide (or club soda). After blotting the stain with a dry towel, use a sponge to dab it with your dish soap / hydrogen peroxide creation, or, as we like to call it, H2Oap.

Fight Red with White: Some people swear that the way to get rid of red wine stains is simple: fight fire with fire, a different color fire. Pouring white wine on the red wine stain forces it to neutralize, causing it to come up easily. This route, however, requires you to willingly pour out white wine. If you can’t force yourself to do this, don’t worry: you’re not alone. Baking soda and salt may also help to keep the red wine from setting, and they are a lot easier to part with than a bottle of Chardonnay.

The Basics of Grapes

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 17:14:00 -0500

As a wine writer, I tend to write a lot about, that's right, wine. From wine tasting to ordering wine in a restaurant, I've covered a plethora of wine related topics: yes, I've seen, and drank, it all. But, it occurred to me the other day that I haven't given the heart of wine, the grape, its day in the sun. Turns out, I feel rather bad about this, especially when I see the solemn look on a grape's face. After all, only writing about wines instead of the very thing that they come from may make a Merlot happy, but it leaves grapes crushed.

So, without further ado, or further Condrieu, this one's for the grapes.

From a scientific standpoint, the grape belongs to the genus Vitis in the Kingdom Plantae. Their division, class, order, and family are Magnoliophyta, Magnoliopsida, Vitales, and Vitaceae, respectively. They are grown on perennial plants (plants that live for more than two years) in clusters anywhere between 6 to a few hundred. Representing all kinds of hues, they can be gold, green, purple, red, brown, peach, white, black, blue, or even pink.

Despite their variety of colors, it is the red grapes that have been given the nod from health enthusiasts. Due to their antioxidants and abundance of nutrients, red grapes have been deemed by many as a "super fruit." This has not only led to more people consuming them, but the title of "super fruit" has also caused the grapes themselves, in a moment of egocentrism, to insist on wearing capes.

White grapes are actually derived from red grapes, thanks to evolution. Through mutations in two genes, anthocyanin - a pigment -is not produced in white grapes. The anthocyanins give red grapes their color, and, more importantly, a good majority of their nutritional value. The white grapes lack of anthocyanins leaves them ultimately white, but metaphorically red with jealously.

As for grapes and their vines, both have innumerable species, far too many to list if I'm hoping my readers stay awake. Some of the most common ones, however, are the Vitis vinifera, Vitis labrusca, Vitis aestivalis and Vitis rotundifolia species.

Though the majority of grapes are used to make wine, they don't stop there. Grapes are also used for raisins, juices, jams, jellies, grape seed oil and, go figure, as simply grapes. Even though they have the word "grape" in their title, grapes have nothing to do with grapefruit and, despite some people's assumptions, Grape Nuts is not a cereal made up of grapes. No, not even boy grapes.

So, there you have it: the basics of grapes; short and sweet, just like them. Hopefully this acknowledgement will keep the grapes happy: make 'em quit whining and go back to wining.

Wedding Registry

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 17:41:00 -0500

It has recently been brought to my attention that whenever I talk to my fiancé about our upcoming nuptials I refer to it as "MY wedding." Apparently, he's not involved. I guess I'm marrying myself.

That should at least make the five o'clock news.

But, seriously, Andrew and I have both been trying to get in wedding planning mode, a mode we've never been in before. We keep being reminded of all the stuff we need to do: get a place, set a date, hire a photographer, get flowers. It's almost overwhelming, all the stuff involved. I mean, really, what is up with having to buy a wedding cake? I have a box of Duncan Hines, a can of frosting, and an oven. I fail to see a problem.

The other day we realized that we also need to register. Now, most people, particularly women, probably live for their wedding registry. In fact, I'm convinced that some women get married multiple times for no other reason than multiple registries (multiple registries are very satisfying).

I, on the other hand, am not much of a shopper. Sure, a shoplifter in my youth but still not a shopper in adulthood. I just don't really like to shop and I'm overwhelmed with the idea of figuring out what we need, what we want, and what we will end up taking back solely for the cash value.

So, Andrew and I discussed it and decided we'd only register at places housing gifts we love, gifts that will never go to waste, and gifts we don't think we can live without.

Keep your eyes open for our registry, available soon at liquor stores around the Denver metro area.

Engagement Happy Hour

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 16:50:00 -0500

Hello out there to all my loyal reader. Yes, that's singular on purpose. Yet again I'm sorry I've been away. I was too bogged down to blog. Oh wait, I think I've used that joke before. Oh well, laugh anyway.

So, tomorrow night my fiancé and I are attending our engagement happy hour. That's right, you're all invited.

What's an engagement happy hour? Well, I'm glad you asked. Basically, an engagement happy hour is like an engagement party but way less formal. We don't want presents (though they won't be turned away (HINT HINT)), but we do want alcohol. If its red and in a glass, it's the gift of a lifetime.

I wasn't even going to have an engagement party; I've been in enough weddings to know that they get expensive, expensive for all the people involved. So, on top of the Hope Diamond I suspect everyone is going to get us for the actual big day, I didn't want to add another party.

But, our friends wanted to celebrate the big occasion and, since our wedding is a year away, we figured there was no reason to not get the party started.

Seeing how the happy hour begins at five, and really should be called "happy hours," I'm thinking I need to drink something that's not too strong. I don't want to end up a drunken fool in public (in private, I’m all about it). I'm going to try like heck to stay away from shots…no matter how much a lemon drop begs and pleads, I've got to be strong.

One thing's for certain, I'm sticking to wine as my drink of choice. Call me a wine snob, call me a wino, call me a wine drinking fool, I take them all as compliments.

For me, wine is the only way to do happy hour, engagement or otherwise. Without it, the term "Happy Hour" just doesn’t make much sense.

I'm back

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 16:55:00 -0500

We'll, I'm back from Vegas and sad to say that I did not in fact hit it rich like I was planning. Turns out that the house usually wins. Huh...who knew? And here I thought those billion dollar casinos were built on people winning.

But, at least I didn't chase my losses: I didn't lose a lot of money. Or, worse, lose so much money that I find myself sleeping under the bridge at I-25 and Broadway (at least it has easy highway access).

Even if I had "lost" a ton of money, I think I won it back in wine. Some people win it back at the buffett, I win it back at the free alcohol.

Five video poker machines played

Three NFL games bet on

Seven hours of Black jack

All adds up to equal = too many glasses of wine to count.

Thus, I came back a winner.

Heading to Vegas

Thu, 06 Sep 2007 18:58:00 -0500

Tomorrow night I'm headin' to Vegas. I've been excited for this for months but last night I was attacked by a vicious cold (maybe it's the Bird flu). So, needless to say, I'm a little annoyed. It's no fun going on vacation and being sick. I'm hoping my cold won't come with me; maybe they won't let it past security.

I'm optimistically thinking that the worst of the cold will be behind me come tomorrow night. That gives me 24 hours to get it out of my system. Today I worked from home, and drank a ton of liquid (unfortunately no wine was involved). I plan to go to bed early tonight (after the first NFL game) and wake up to the melodic voices of cartoon animals singing. In other words, I hope to wake up refreshed.

Once I get to Vegas, I could use some antioxidants. Thus, I'm drinking red wine. I figure if I alternate red wine with something nonalcoholic, say plain old boring water, I should be fine.

Anyway, wish me luck. Perhaps, I will get rid of my cold and hit it rich. If I lose all my money hopefully I can get a refund, though they've never given me one when I've asked before.

See you guys on Monday! Viva Las wine...and Vegas.

My parents are getting a dowry

Wed, 05 Sep 2007 15:22:00 -0500

So on Friday night I got engaged. Or, as my parents would say, on Friday night Hell froze ever. Whatever Mom and Dad. Keep it up and no grandchildren. None.

At any rate, now that the engagement has occurred (to the man who really is the love of my life (Hi Andrew!)), the wedding planning has commenced. As someone who is not really much of an organizer, my trapper keeper was always the messiest one in elementary school, I've found myself a little overwhelmed: there is just so much to do.

Now, we could avoid all the planning and easily elope. I mean, my best friend lives in Nevada and Andrew has (until the intervention) a deep appreciation for gambling, so we go to Vegas quite frequently. In fact, I've been there twice this year and Andrew and I, plus my family, are all going again in two days. So, eloping would be easy. I can practically hear the Elvis impersonator/pastor calling our name.

But, here's the thing: I'm not an eloper. My whole life I've wanted a big wedding, not one with all the bells and whistles, but one with all the people I care about (there aren't really any bells and whistles that mean that much to me). So, I really don't want to elope unless all of "our people" are there, which kind of defeats the purpose of eloping.

Thus, it's off to the weddings plans. We haven't set a date but it will be September of next year. The only thing we've really decided on is our colors. As life long Bronco fans, we can't help but go orange and blue.

When it comes to liquor, as much as I have greatly appreciated all the open bar weddings I've been to in the past, those are, well, sort of really ridiculously expensive. So, my hope is to do away with the "open bar" and have one that is only partially ajar, in the form of wine and beer.

Since wine and beer are affordable, particularly compared to the crown royal some of my bridesmaids (ahem, Steph) would order, I think it would be fair to have them free. After all, all you really need is beer and wine….minus the beer, of course.

But, my problem is this: working in the wine industry, I've become a bit of a wine snob. I mean, I hardly ever even buy Boone's Farm anymore. This has made me want to provide all of our wedding guests with the top of the line wine selection. However, barring a huge win in Vegas, we are on a budget.

So, I pose a question to you, my loyal readers: what types of wines have you served at your weddings and what would you recommend or definitely not recommend? If anyone has any suggestions, or simply wants my address to send us a wedding present, please contact me at jenn@savoreachglass.com.

An operator is standing by.

Bad Wine....blah

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 16:58:00 -0500

On Saturday night, I had a run in with some bad wine….really bad wine. Now, I'd like to say that I knew the wine was bad because I awoke to it standing over me with a knife, threatening to attack. That would make for a much cooler story.

But, instead, my story is kind of lame. Still, that doesn't mean you get to quit reading.

It all started with the Denver Bronco game that aired at 7 pm. As a lifelong Bronco fan, I was determined to watch the game and, as I did, I felt my hopes of an undefeated season drift away. My team looked kind of bad. Yet I, always resourceful, found solace in two things: it's only preseason, and there's always wine.

On Saturday night there was wine….sort of.

The badness of the wine came to fruition when I poured it in a glass, tasted it and it tasted, well, bad. I can't even describe the taste, though I know it's something I wouldn't drink willingly. It was kind of a gross flavor, with some really gross flavors mixed in. Yeah, that's the gist of it.

It all started out so innocently….

My boyfriend brought over a few bottles of wine that he'd had in his possession for quite some time. He said he didn't think that he stored them properly and there was a chance they had spoiled. "Nonsense," I said to him, "They don't look bad at all. In fact, that bottle over there just winked at me." I insisted that we drink them.

On the first bottle, I was right. It tasted fine.

The second bottle, however, was another story. It smelled a little musty, but that wasn't enough to deter me; my taste buds needed proof…..and proof they got. The flavor, needless to say, was not wine, but it still gave me something to whine about.

I think that was the first time in my life that I've actually tasted wine that has gone to the dark side. I've definitely tasted a few that - though not yet to the dark side - were making their voyage. But, this one takes the cake as far as bad wines go. But, don't worry, it doesn't take a good cake; it takes a bad one, like a urinal cake.

Tynan's Dinner Party

Tue, 21 Aug 2007 18:26:00 -0500

Okay, so I've been away for a while. Sorry about that. I didn't forget about any of you, my loyal fans, I mean, friends. I actually was quite busy with another project, one that wasn't wine related. I know, crazy, right? Let's all show our shock at the same time. Ready…one, two, three: Gasp!

It felt good to get that off my chest.

So, anyway, how are you guys? I feel bad because, let's face it, I never really ask.

Anyway, enough about you, let's talk about me.

In today's blog, I really have to write about what I did on Saturday night. Tynan, my boss (a.k.a. my friend who gives me money two times a month), had my boyfriend and me and a few other people over to his house for a five course dinner and wine tasting.

Now, I figured it would be good: Tynan is a great cook (he puts my Hot Pockets to shame) and he knows more about wine than anyone I've ever met. After all, he's a sommelier. But, even knowing that it would be good still didn't prepare me for how great it was.

We started off with some homemade guacamole and crackers, then had some incredible corn chowder. This was followed by tuna that was awesome (all the cats around the neighborhood actually began peeking in the windows, looking at us through jealous eyes), and topped it off with a rice and chicken dish that, I'm not ashamed to say, I would have eaten my body weight in. The final dish of the evening was chocolate. I am female, therefore, Tynan had me at "chocolate."

I can't recall all the wines we drank, but we drank quite a bit. I know there was a Pinot Noir and Riesling in the menu, and a lot of other kinds in my liver. Right where they belong.

The food, the wine, and the food and wine pairings were absolutely incredible. Hopefully Tynan will have me over again soon if I kiss up enough (Tynan, if you're reading this, you looked really nice today).

Perhaps he should put the menu, and what wines to pair with what foods, on our website so all of you guys can play along at home. If we don't include you, then I just kind of feel like I'm gloating.

Kickball and Wine..

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 14:34:00 -0500

So, every Thursday night, I play on a kickball team...and by "play" I mean I stand in the outfield picking grass and hoping the ball doesn't come my way. Turns out, I kind of suck at kickball; my hopes of going pro were gone forever the moment I put all my might behind a kick and the ball sailed five feet…okay, really four.

Darn the kickball career, I guess I'll just have to be a super model instead.

Despite the crushing of my dreams, there is a bright side: kickball, you see, isn't really about kickball; it's about drinking. Playing kickball and not drinking is like living in Utah and not having more than one wife. Yes, it's just like that.

Erroneously, many people assume that wine and kickball don't mix: they think that kickball is a sport solely for beer and jell-o shots. To this I say, "Pish posh!"...only I don't actually use the words "pish posh" because that makes me look kind of lame...or British.

Kickball isn't just for beer and jell-o shots, it is also for wine: you just have to get a little creative.

Since most parks have a strict no glass rule, it's not like you can bring in your Riedel wineglasses and pop open a Pinot. Sure, you could bring in plastic wineglasses, but then you still have the problem of the wine bottle being glass. I suppose you could keep it hidden, in say a fashionable brown paper bag, but you still run the risk of discovery. Next thing you know, you are thrown in the slammer and, as the guy next to you tells you he is in for murder, you puff out your chest and say in your toughest voice, "Murder? That's nothing. I brought glass, yes, GLASS, to a park!" Thus, the solution is easy: boxed wine. I know, I know: it's not the greatest wine around, but sacrifices, people, sacrifices must be made.

There are even small boxes of wine, a bit bigger that a juice box, that are perfect for this very occasion: it's like a Hi-C…with just the high. So move over beer (not you jell-o shots, there's always room for jell-o shots); wine is coming soon to a kickball field near you.

Wine and kickball, just give it a whirl: in more than one way, it's helped me get to first base...okay third base.

Boulder..not just for beer anymore

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 16:01:00 -0500

For those of you unfamiliar with Boulder, Colorado, let me give you the low down: Boulder is home to the University of Colorado, where I graduated Summa Cum Laude in electrical engineering (by "Summa Cum Laude" I really mean "Summa Cum Drank A lot" and by "electrical engineering" I really mean "English Literature"). A town marked by eccentrics, Boulder is known as a place filled with hippies, tree huggers, and free spirits. It's also a place known for beer. In fact, some of the best beers in Colorado come from Boulder.

I always found this a bit futile: even though some of the best beers come from Boulder, most of the residents there (i.e., college students) can afford little more than a glass of Bud on draft or a twelve pack of Natural Light. In fact, I recall once having no money and drinking a Foster's someone left behind on a bar table. Then I went and got a Hepatitis shot.

But, Boulder is not just about beer; it's also about wine. In fact, I had a few glasses from the Boulder Creek winery last night (What? I wasn't drinking alone...my dogs were there!). I have to say, I was quite impressed. Normally, Colorado isn't known for wine...it's known for skiing, the Broncos, snow, and, of course, one particularly smart and gifted wine writer. Still, the thing is, it could be known for wine: if Washington, Oregon, California and New York didn't demand all the attention.

As long as they are still around, I supposed Colorado will just have to be fine with being both a beer and a wine region. But, as soon as those other states secede from the Union, we are totally taking over.

Lost on a Desert Island

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 16:32:00 -0500

Last night, after watching my fifth Law and Order show for the day, I decided to unwind by reading a magazine. In it, there was an article about a character from the TV show Lost. I'm not really sure what the article was talking about. Being lost? Climbing palm trees? Getting sand in your shorts? I didn't really read it: daydreaming took over and I began to wonder what one thing I would bring with me in the event I was going to be lost on a desert island.

My initial thought was to take my cell phone, but I probably wouldn't have service in the middle of nowhere and, knowing me, my phone would be way over its minutes and, out of stubbornness, I'd refuse to use it; that stuff gets expensive, ya know? Then I thought about taking my toothbrush: dental hygiene is of great importance in my life. But, what good is a toothbrush without any toothpaste? I also considered taking my makeup bag, but who would I really need to look pretty for? Sorry random sea turtle, but I only like you as a friend.

Then, it hit me: I'd take a case of wine. You see, it's the perfect accessory for any desert island voyage. First of all, the wine gives you calories, which keeps you alive. Secondly, the plethora of wine bottles gives you numerous chances to send a message in a bottle. If the first five get returned to sender, just send out a sixth; one is sure to reach shore. It always works in the movies and THE MOVIES NEVER LIE. Last but not least, if you drink enough wine, you might even forget that you are stranded altogether. Yes, wine is that magical.

So, my friends, the moral of this story is simple: Wine, don't get lost on a desert island without it.